Gil came to therapy about nine months ago, following a crisis in his relationship.
They love each other deeply and want to build a family together, but the relationship has been unstable and challenging.
We went through a meaningful process together. We met his fear of being alone, explored his defense mechanisms, and learned how he could make more supportive choices.
He learned to express himself with clarity and simplicity, to balance stability and lightness, to set boundaries and nurture intimacy.
There was movement. There was learning.
And yet, the relationship itself did not significantly improve.
In our last session, it was clear to me the moment I saw him: it was time to meet despair.
Not to fight it.
Not to fix it.
But to allow it.
“You’ve done everything you can,” I told him, “and now it’s time to make space for despair as well.”
He let out a deep sigh of relief. Like someone who has been struggling for a long time, and is finally allowed to stop.
I encouraged him to let go of the effort to save the relationship.
As he relaxed, a sense of calm spread through his body, along with a clear inner knowing.
After a few minutes, he opened his eyes and sat up.
“I know what I need to do,” he said with certainty.
I didn’t ask what. I didn’t want to interrupt that clarity.
Whether he chooses to stay or to leave, I will find out in our next session.